Another kind of letting go…

Today we have a marvellous gardener, Paul Taylor, here doing loads of spring gardening planting, weeding, and mulching with farmyard manure. It’s all great. But in my head I’m torn because I’m not planting the Clematis, I’m not planting the Magnolia, or the Camissia bulbs. Why you may ask? Because I am so ancient that I simply have not the energy required and if I do attempt some light hoeing …as I did a couple of weeks ago, for half an hour barely with my splendid shiny new stainless steel hoe….I was totally knackered for a couple of days and my hip on one side hurt. So all fitness has left the building! Will I ever get it back? 

Paul told me I could still come out with a trowel and do a bit…just to try. He’s quite wise! 

So yes I can try, but Pratap is at my shoulder as ever telling me to be careful…potential disaster haunts his mind since the dislocation over a year ago! 

 So how to ignore the lurking anxiety and allow myself to enjoy little bouts of gardening is the question? I need to do it. For me doing things with compost and plants is an essential for living fully. I need to show that I can stop! That’s the issue. I find it hard to stop once out there and that’s when I overdo it and then the result is over fatigue. 

 

Answers please?